Owning Your Power: Femme Sadism with Bluejai
Accessibility accommodations are available upon request to accessibility@br.org. Please give us two weeks’ notice.
Class Description
Claim your appetite for intensity—without apology. Owning Your Power: Femme Sadism is an affirming, skills-forward workshop for anyone who identifies as female, femme, or feminine who’s curious about—or already practicing—sadism in consensual kink. We’ll unpack the baggage around the word “sadist,” map the difference between dominance and sadism, and explore what femme power looks like in the scene, especially when your partner is physically larger or stronger. Expect practical tools for negotiation, scene design, risk navigation, and aftercare—plus confidence-building frameworks to name and own what you want.
Notes
- Inclusive of trans women, nonbinary femmes, and all bodies.
- Content will discuss pain, power exchange, and restraint in a consent-centered way.
Learning Outcomes:
By the end of this class, participants will be able to:
- Define sadism in a kink context and articulate how it differs from dominance and from “femdom” as an aesthetic/genre.
- Identify and challenge social conditioning that makes many femme tops reluctant to claim “sadist.”
- Negotiate clearly for enthusiastic, informed consent (RACK/SSC), including limits, risk tradeoffs, and aftercare needs.
- Design and control scenes with partners who are physically larger/stronger, using leverage, positioning, pacing, communication, and environmental controls.
- Apply trauma-aware, identity-inclusive practices to cultivate safety, respect, and resilience.
- Build a personal code of ethical sadism and a roadmap for ongoing skill development.
Who This Class Is For:
- Anyone who identifies as female, femme, or feminine—from curious beginners to seasoned tops looking to refine their craft.
- All those in support of femme sadists are welcome.
Presenter Bio
Bluejai, aka “The Original” Jen, has been kicking around the public scene since 1998, when she unknowingly stumbled into her first play party while attending a non-kink convention in Atlanta. Over her long tenure in the public scene, she has been an active volunteer with Black Rose, The Crucible, BBN, CLUE, and Camp Crucible.
While she has since hung up her volunteer badge, Bluejai still loves teaching on a variety of kink topics. When she is not doing the kinky stuff, she can usually be found in her garage working on any number of furniture refinishing projects, stalking thrift shops for vintage finds, or hanging out with her husband, Shutterdoll, and their four furry overlords.
To minimize disruption, there will be no admittance after 8:30.
This is not a play party. Do not attempt to engage in scenes or solicit others for play, except for labbing as part of a workshop-style class.
Tickets are $5 for Black Rose Members and Members of Reciprocal Groups with their Membership Card and $10 for non-members.
All ticket sales are at the door.
Email info@br.org for more information about Black Rose or its events.
If you have questions or would like to request a class topic, please email education@br.org
